Lectures: Of Kings, Knotweed and Hill Forts

Get ready to bone up with a series of lectures and talks on a huge range of important issues..

It’s not all about pies, music and beer at the Honiton Festival. We’ve been able to snag a handful of our artists for a series of exclusive presentations that should provide a light-hearted respite from all the partying.

The History of Knotweed: The Garden Menace from Abroad

Gerald Forscythe (AKA Bounce House Mouse)

It’s one of the most invasive non-native plants known to our shores, costing homeowners in the region of £175m every year, but do you know where it actually came from? Our resident glitch-pop maestro Gerald Forscythe was blighted with an infestation of Japanese knotweed whilst he was attempting to complete his 6th mixtape. Gerald put his music on hold for 6 months so that he could research the plant, his talk explains how getting rid of Japanese knotweed can be done with or without the aid of intensive chemicals and how Knotweed law is affecting many homeowners all over the UK.

House Rabbits & Micro Pigs – Where Does It End?

Emma Fielding (Total Vets)

Before taking to the stage with her Super-Funk Groove collective Total Vets, Emma Fielding was a travelling vet for five years. Emma’s talk will be filled with amusing anecdotes of her time spent as a practising vet, it will also touch on the huge variety of animals that are now kept as pets. With love for animals and support for animal rights groups at an all time high, she’ll be asking the important questions that certain ‘animal lovers‘ might be ignoring…

Digitally Fidgetal: DIY Music 4 Beginnerz

Jeffrey Sumpter-Manberry (AKA Tobias Kling)

Public school drop-out and failed lawyer turned Techno-Babble producer, Jeffrey Sumpter-Manberry knows a thing or two about DIY but not in the traditional sense. Having struggled through the education system for years, Jeffrey found his calling in music late in life thanks to the proliferation of information online. Taking the moniker of Tobias Kling in 2008, he’s been producing music ever since and he now he wants to share his knowledge with you!

Sexuality & Genre-Pitch Bending

Calypso O’Harry (Falling Bricks)

One of the more enigmatic performers on our lineup, Calypso keeps an unusually low-profile (even by her fellow lecturers’ standards!). Sexuality is at the core of her presentation; never before has it been a more important issue and its been a key theme in all of Calypso’s work whilst performing under the stage name of Falling Bricks. Calypso’s shifting world of musical genres and style is emblematic of her relationship with sexuality which she hopes to explore in her talk.

Smooshing the Jitters

Jane Thompson

Jane is considered by many to be at the forefront of Mum Rock, a movement which has seen Mums all round the country (as well as non-Mothers who identify as Mums) picking up guitars and expressing their emotions through the form of soft rock, country ballads and covers of Ronan Keating B-Sides. Whilst many Mum Rockers start out as bedroom musicians, many have made the next step to promoting themselves through YouTube and Instagram. Jane’s talk will be covering the risks posed to Mums and how to avoid being exploited by obsessive Mum-Lovers.

Honiton Festival: Video Collage Special

We’ve talked to the artists on our lineup and asked them for their all-time favourite videos from the internet – explore them if you dare!

Jessica Bright (Danielle Bradbury & The Hawaii-10)

“We spend a lot of time touring all over the country so all 11 of us pretty much live in our tour bus. Whilst this is great, it can get a little hectic at times, thankfully we have Wi-Fi on the bus so a lot of travelling time is taken up with watching YouTube. This channel is one of my absolute favourites, its got this totally sweet day time telly vibe – really non-offensive and very addictive, plus I feel like I share a lot in common with these brave people!”

Jeffrey Sumpter-Manberry (AKA Tobias Kling)

“The internet is full of so many amazing artists it can often be hard keeping track of all of them! Lucien is one of my favourite Audiovisual artists, he’s very much a ‘quality over quantity’ kind of guy so be careful you don’t blast through all of his stuff too quickly! Although I believe he’s more of graphic designer by trade I still get completely drawn in by his Simpsonwave videos, this is a genre of Youtube videos based around remixing footage from The Simpsons using vapourwave as a backing – it’s totally trippy and very satisfying.”

Sally McIllinery (Total Vet)

“Rabbits are notoriously difficult to operate on because of their size, as such I spent years as a vet agonising over treating them. It can be so difficult to take responsibility for an animal’s life, especially when they’ve been taken to you willingly by their owner who wants a castration or spaying – many owners feel like it should be a simple operation, but nothing is simple with creatures of this size. It took me a long time to build up positive associations with rabbits and its these kinds of videos that really helped.”

Gerald Forscythe (AKA Bounce House Mouse)

“This guy is one of favourite video-makers, he’s got a very dry wit and a really interesting style. He’s made a living out of reviewing and commenting on the weird and wonderful creations that have dropped through the cracks of popular culture. Whilst there are hundreds of video reviews of guitars, laptops, speakers etc. there aren’t that many reviews for obscure tinned foods or long forgotten third-party video game controllers which makes his channel something of an anomaly in my opinion. Start watching at your peril though, there are a lot of videos to watch.”

Calling All Foodies!

We’re not satisfied just bringing a wide array of excellent musicians to the festival, we want to bring the thunder when it comes to food too!

Festival  food is a divisive topic up and down the country.

Uniformly pricey and invariably pants, we can’t keep count of the number of lifeless meals we’ve eaten at music festivals, whilst paying through our nose for the privilege. Now whilst we’re not advocating the consumption of live animals at the Honiton Festival we are going to be inviting some of the most innovative food trucks from around the country to our event, so that we can prove once and for all that you don’t need to be cheated out of a fortune every time you get peckish at a festival.

We’ve ensured that all of the food vendors at our event will be compliant with the highest of standards. Not only will they have received comprehensive food preparation training, but we’ll also make sure that their gear is as clean as physically possible. We’ll be calling in Kerry Corney to help give every single food truck a thorough clean before the start of the festival. Although Kerry is a specialist in oven cleaning in Aylesbury, she’s also a dab hand at every other type of cleaning, so we’re looking forward to seeing what work she can help us do!

These top-drawer food trucks have been doing the rounds for a number of years and promise to give you a decent mouthful of food without cutting your purse:

Jeff McHealey’s Burger Express

The typical festival burger is often so disappointing, but Jeff McHealey’s Burger Express bucks the trend by offering three simple options that are brilliantly prepared and juicy as you like.

Pick from Jeff’s Classic, the Veggie Wedgie or the Frickin’ Chicken and exorcise the ghost of burgers past with a truly biblical mouthful of foodie manna.

Hot Chopstix

The Wongs spent 40 years running their Chinese takeaway, providing quality food for the community there but after their kids left home they decided to sell up their business and hit the road.

Applying their tireless work ethic to festival fare Hot Chopstix offer a variety of noodle boxes with a choice of classic sides, all freshly prepared and to die for.

Maverick Mega Nugz

Chicken McNuggets these ain’t! The team at Maverick Mega Nugz are out to put McDonalds to shame with their free-range, panko breadcrumbed chicken nuggets.

Buy 4, 8 or 12 or 16 so that you can easily share with your mates and choose from a variety of shaker seasonings and dipping sauces including: Hot Rod Rosemary, Baking Blu-Cheeze and Marvellously Minty Mayo.

Gravy On My Tato

Simplicity is a wonderful thing and it doesn’t get much simpler than this. Forget your fancy phos and silly soups, if you’re looking for a warming meal to set you straight then it doesn’t get much better than a freshly baked potato smothered with a lovely filling.

Choose from a gloriously rich Roast Dinner gravy, a fresh Vegan slaw or homemade Barbecue Beans.


Although many cite Sushi as their favourite Japanese dish it hardly makes for good festival grub, so step up Katsu Curry, the nation’s new favourite curry! Choose either deep fried pork belly, chicken strips or beef to go with your sticky rice and gloriously tangy katsu sauce.

So wholesome and filling, the boxes from AlleyKatsunation are legendary.


It’s going to be a toss up as to who wins the great chicken war of Honiton Festival but either way we know that WingsWingsWings will be doing fast business with their innovative take on the American classic.

Whether you’ve got the need for spicy, sweet or salty these guys will be able to set you up with a box of steaming goodness!

Which Craft Will You Master?

Have you ever wondered if you have what it takes to become an artist?

There’s a common misconception that in order to become an artist you need to have some kind of ‘inner spark’ or ‘inspiration’.

Thousands of people over the years have been put off beginning their art career for the simplest and stupidest of reasons: that they believe they have no talent. We here at the Honiton Festival believe that anyone can be an artist, all you need to do is to flip your perspective so that you can appreciate that ‘art’ can really be anything that you wish it to be.

The wonderful things about ‘art’ is its inherently open nature. Although many (rightly) perceive the world of Art and the culture around it as being a very closed exclusive circle, you do not need to be apart of this culture in order to consider yourself an artist. Despite what people might tell you, you don’t even need an audience to become an artist.

The artist’s mindset is one defined by freedom, should you wish to free yourself from the manacles of others’ expectations you can join in one of our craft classes when the festival goes ahead:

Learn to Carve Ice with Jarl Snårlfullssøn

“Is there anything more poetically tragic as a beautiful ice sculpture? As stunning as it might appear it will never be long for this world, but there’s something rather magical about that at the same time – don’t you think? I’m an ice carver of 20 years who takes great pleasure in passing on my skills to others, if I can empower just one person in my class to embrace their artistic side then I will have achieved my purpose!”

Stitch Your Way to Nirvana with Jade Bagshot

“Knitting, crocheting, stitching: I’ve done them all and now I want to share my knowledge with new devotees! I believe that all forms of weaving and needlework is incredibly therapeutic, not to mention intrinsically satisfying and I can’t wait to bring by workshop to the Honiton Festival. I marry basic stitching lessons with a spiritual twist, imbuing traditional needlework with post-modern wellness thought control. Nama-stay right here and knit with me!”

Flip-Flap-Flop: Pancake Percussion with Martin Derrymeade

“Get your oven mitts on, paste your face in Vaseline and dig out your protective clothing because I’m about to introduce you to the fast-paced, sizzling hot world of Pancake Percussion! Originally conceived in the tenement slums of Paris, Pancake Percussion is an exciting form of expression that’s as tasty as it is loud. [Due to the inherent risks of the art form it’s crucial that every participant can demonstrate a Full Pan Flip and a Twisty No-Hands Toss-Off before they start the class.]”

Build Your Own Serie | 6 Automatic Washing Machine with Angel Blenninhead

“I love that crafting is getting its time to shine – it keeps craft folks like myself in a job! I’m going to be taking things back to basics for my workshop which will show you how to build your very own Bosch Serie | 6 Automatic Washing Machine completely from scratch. We’ll all start at square one and then spend the next two months moulding, shaping, drilling, blowing glass, soldering electronics, vac-packing plastics and studying programme selection so you can leave the festival with this iconic white good that you can proudly say that you built yourself!”

The Funding Campaign Is Underway

Start the cash counter…

Honiton is not anything to do with this festival: The Honiton Festival.

Just like Mike Eavis before us we’re starting out with the purest intentions and are hoping to secure enough funding to hold a premier music and arts festival that should (hopefully) net us a whole lot of money in the long term.

That’s right, we’re playing the long term strategy here!

We understand for many that the concept of our festival must be quite confusing, so we thought the best thing to do would be to lay out our vision for our festival, offer up our USPs and highlight just exactly why you should shower us in bills (£$€s all accepted) to make it a reality.

Our Vision

The Honiton Festival will be a premier British arts festival – a week long celebration of everything that makes being British fantastic.

So Why The Name?

Despite what you might think, the Honiton Festival will not take place in Honiton. We’ve not been to Honiton before, we’re not from there and the festival will not in anyway be associated with this particular town in Devon. We just like the sound of the name – hope that clears up any confusion!

Will There Be Camping?

That’s the kind of practical question that we’re really not ready to answer yet! We’d much prefer to think about ‘logistics’ and other such ‘crucial’ bits of information later so that we can focus on what matters: money *ahem* we mean MUSIC.

So Who Will Be Playing?

The incredibly talented Cerys Matthews will NOT be playing at The Honiton Festival.

As we’re only just starting out we’re not expecting big stars like Cerys Matthews or Gabrielle to play, but we have already secured a number of totally real ground-breaking artists that are so hip that no one has ever heard of them. These artists have been creating and recording in privacy so you can guarantee they’ll sound like nothing you’ve ever heard before.

Are You Kidding Is This A Joke?

Absolutely not. Definitely, definitely not. Who would go to this much time and effort? Who would do that? We can guarantee that this festival has been set up with the purest of intentions, just like Mike Eavis before us, we want to make a music festival that makes us loads of money. Why would we joke about our future fortune?

So Why Not Start Smaller?

We’ve toyed with the idea of holding a one-off show or something like that, but we’re worried that that won’t make us enough money.

Our hope is to build the kind of hype and excitement that would usually surround a new Sonique release or a Gerri Halliwell mixtape.

The excellent Babbacome Model Village is just 38.8 miles away from Honiton which is, once again, NOTHING to do with this festival.

When Is This Festival Going To Happen?

It happens when YOU want it to happen. Spread the word, build up momentum, start a band, make up a name, send it to us, you could be on the bill, you could be playing on our main stage, you could be the next Sinead O’Connor! The next Rachel Platten! Do it! Do it today! Be the future!